Delayed Grief

I’m not entirely sure what is going on here, but I honestly cannot stop crying over putting my dear Schnitzel dog down last September. Maybe it’s combined loss over losing her and her big sister only 17 months before. I’m not too sure. But I only know that I have pockets of time that I…

Being Present

I’ve been awake for two hours with my brain spinning. I’m filled with questions about how life will be and what being present looks like anymore. It all started with comments and posts I’ve seen on social media, because we all know how much people spew their thoughts in comment threads. One was on a…

Exhausted, Raw Transparency.

Exhausted. Raw. Transparency. I’m hoping by the end of this, that you will see the insanity, and realize how an unhealthy body image is something we are raised with in our society. Wouldn’t it be nice to live in an age of no self-shame, no outward shame, no one telling us what is acceptable and…

Bring a Dose of Joy

If I had to name the top five people who have influenced my life, I would have to say that my therapist is pretty darn close to the top. I’ve gone to Ken since 2010 after a trip to Malibu with my dear friend. She had a deep conversation with me and it lead to…

Dear God, Let this be Goodbye

Breathe………….. I’m listening to a new album put out by dear people called “Breathe” and that is the mode I am in right now. I’m just trying to freaking breathe. I’ve realize how strong and how weak I have been during these past 4 years. I haven’t felt well. My health has taken a toll….

The Collect for Purity

Almighty God, to you all hearts are open, all desires known, And from you no secrets are hid: Cleanse the thoughts of our hearts by the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, That we may perfectly love you and worthily magnify Your holy name; Through Christ our Lord. Amen. (The Collect for Purity) It seems like…

Joe, I’ve Got You

It’s been quite a week right? We can say that about every week this year. 2020 is the rollercoaster at the amusement park that lacks serious amusement. I want off and the person that runs the ride is laughing and won’t shut it down. We have been through pretty much everything this year, and when…

Can it Get Any Worse?

I feel lost and like my purpose for getting out of bed is just gone. I realize that might sound dramatic, but it’s my truth right now. I’m 53. In my life on this planet, I have only lived by myself 1 year: April 1996 – April 1997. That was right after my first divorce….

The Final Straw

“I guess it comes down to a simple choice, really – Get busy living or get busy dying.” – Andy, Shawshank Redemption This is my favorite quote from one of my most favorite movies. In fact, it’s probably my most favorite quote. I’ve used it many times in my life to give me a boost….

Fighting the Crash

I have about zero minutes to blog, and I’m going to do it anyway. Sometimes I need to send myself out into the universe because the walls of my home are sick and tired of my voice and I’m tired of them not answering. I’m not sure how much I slept last night. Not much….

A Weight Loss Journey Minus the Lie

I started a weight loss journey in 2007. It’s not like that was my first journey with weight loss, but this has been a 13-year one with ups and downs like so many others. This one is going to be different and I’ll tell you why. I’ve written enough on weight loss to fill an…

First Responders of a Different Kind

Ok. This started out as a Facebook post and got way too long. Shocking, right!?!?!? I want to give a huge shout out to my musician friends. I know many professions have taken a hit. I know many professions are considered first responders. I’m sad for those who have lost their jobs. I’m grateful for…